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January 10, 2010
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"Hope is a place,"
He said.
"Long-lost in the space
between stars and the skyline

Of cities,
so shadow-scarred and tarred
by trail-stretched wire
wound tight toward the horizon

That you can't even imagine
what love
we have lost
along the highway."


"Headlights
wax and wane a wash
against my windscreen,"

He said.

"They're waves
upon which I can watch
the patterns
of pressure-tides rolling on

as rush-hour reels:
broken wheels wrenched in a
stop-motion revenance
in red."


"We'll choke
cold
in this caldera,"

He said.

"Caught supine
beneath the saturnine
street-light,
and the fireflies

Cast ablaze
amidst the wreckage:
Sirens
will not save me tonight."
Updated: 10/01/2010 @ 09:29
Project2010: 017 of 375 (January 9th)



Something a little different; at least in terms of presentation if not general style and subject matter.

This one was tricky to get to a point where I was reasonably content with it. The line-breaks, for example, have been altered extensively: to the point where I can barely tell the difference any more when I look at the pile of different versions I have cached in Notepad files. One version in particular doesn't even have line-breaks as the original intent was to present this as prose, of sorts.

One possible change that I couldn't quite decide upon is the presentation of the spoken segments: I'm starting to think that swapping the quotation marks for italic font would work better. Thoughts?
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:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The first stanza caught me and the rest was divine
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:iconarctoa:
arctoa Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Photographer
Many thanks for taking the time to comment, it's appreciated.
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Not a problem at all!
Reply
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This deserved its own comment! My favorite!!!!!!!!! I can identify with this in so many ways, though it's hard to explain; mainly it's how you went about telling the story, though the emotional aspect is appealing as well.
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:iconarctoa:
arctoa Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Student Photographer
Many thanks; this is one of the few written pieces that I am quite happy with so I am glad that is able to trigger some sort of response in the reader.
Reply
:iconcocokingsolver:
CocoKingsolver Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional Photographer
I am reminded of Paul Bowles here with the Sheltering Sky, the cadence of your words, the word choice itself. It's the desolation and uncertainty in this I fear, being lost in a place we once were certain could provide safety, perhaps even save us from ourselves. I read too much in to it maybe. No, I do believe we are lost now.
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:iconarctoa:
arctoa Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Photographer
Thank-you; I've not read the work that you referenced but I'm familiar with it, and I appreciate your comment.
Reply
:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your writing had an irresistibly abstract aura..

Who saved the Sirens?
Reply
:iconarctoa:
arctoa Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Photographer
I'm glad that comes across.

They saved each other. D:
Reply
:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A win win, then.
Reply
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