Something a little different; at least in terms of presentation if not general style and subject matter.
This one was tricky to get to a point where I was reasonably content with it. The line-breaks, for example, have been altered extensively: to the point where I can barely tell the difference any more when I look at the pile of different versions I have cached in Notepad files. One version in particular doesn't even have line-breaks as the original intent was to present this as prose, of sorts.
One possible change that I couldn't quite decide upon is the presentation of the spoken segments: I'm starting to think that swapping the quotation marks for italic font would work better. Thoughts?
Many thanks; this is one of the few written pieces that I am quite happy with so I am glad that is able to trigger some sort of response in the reader.
Thank-you; I've not read the work that you referenced but I'm familiar with it, and I appreciate your comment.
Many thanks for taking the time to put together this comment, I appreciate it. I've made a few of the changes you suggested, but I'm rebutting the highway one as much of the preceding language is painting a picture of a city and the roads (wires) that pass through it; the use of 'stars' is only to frame the surroundings rather than an explicit reference to space. That being said, I can see how it would be misconstrued.
Again, thank-you for taking the time to comment: it's not often that literature gets much attention on dA.